Andres was an underperforming 8th grade student whom I first heard about eighteen years ago. He introduced himself to us by playing basketball in our driveway and hanging on our basketball hoop when we weren’t home…the neighbors told us about him.
I saw him riding his bike in the street one day afterward and I asked him if he wanted to play basketball. It didn’t take long for me to realize that Andres had a troubled past and even though he was in a loving home, he clearly needed someone to come into his life, take an interest in him and guide him back to his path. That someone seemed to be me.
An extremely intelligent young man, I told Andres that he was in the top 5% of his peers in cognitive ability…he didn’t believe me. I devised several different ways to try to enlighten him about the truth of my opinion. I chose question as a way to help him reframe his observations with my more accurate, experienced perspective.
One of the questions I asked him was; “How many times do you know the answer in class but don’t raise your hand?” It made him think. Another question I asked him was; “How many times do you know the point that your teachers are trying to make before they get to their point?” This one made him think again and it cracked the armor! This experience, eighteen years ago, was one of my earliest memories of the power of question to inspire, to redirect and to uplift a wilting soul. These two questions helped Andres come to his own conclusions…through his own wisdom.
Andres had experienced the negative effects of racism. He was taught (through peer pressure) that there was something wrong with him. That he was somehow less important than others…and he began to believe this insidious social programming. But these simple questions helped Andres see beyond the social bias to help him begin to realize his undeveloped potential.
Today, Andres has found his purpose in life and is a successful small business owner, still surrounded his loving family. I am very grateful for the opportunity to have helped him with a spark of enlightenment to get back on his path.
However, in this and in other experiences where I’ve had the opportunity to be a mentor, the greatest rewards seem to fall on me. I’ve always learned more about myself while trying to mentor others. I’ve always grown stronger and more confident…with a clearer purpose when I’ve given direction and encouragement.
Something almost magical seems to happen when one person takes an interest in helping another. It is a two-way reward. I will call it inspiration.
While mentoring produces feelings of relevancy, significance and confidence in the student, the mentor’s experience is a bit more like being a scientist in a laboratory with the results often more surprising and much more significant! As mentors, we get to test and apply human relationship theory using philosophy, encouragement and accumulated wisdom…from an outsider’s point of view. Observing inspiration’s cause and effect in the student is one of the most eloquent confirmations of the power of life.
Next time you want to be inspired and uplifted, show the right path to a young person in need. You will be receiving the better reward!
